Roo turned down the car radio. “Do rappers realize that some of their lyrics make no sense?”
“You mean when Chingy raps that he likes, ‘black, white, Puerto Rican or Haitian, like Japanese, Chinese or even Asian?”
I opened my purse and pulled out a ziploc bag. “But that’s not even close to Mase rapping, ‘Young, black and famous, with money hanging out the anus.”
“No. The best is Dre’s ‘Never let me slip, cause if I slip, then I’m slippin.'”
I laughed, tearing the soda bread bun in two and handing a half to Roo. “What does that even mean?!”
Roo grabbed the bun and shrugged, “At least they’re direct, even if it doesn’t make sense. Like Chris Brown singing, ‘I’m gonna make you wet the bed.’ Class act.”
“Ugh, who says stuff like that!?” I groaned, “I still can’t believe Rihanna’s back with He Who Must Not Be Named.”
“Did you just compare Chris Brown to Voldemort?”
“I’m convinced he appears like Beetlejuice if you say his name three times.”
“That’s how I feel about Kesha.”
“You mean you don’t like to feel ‘like a sabertooth tiger, sipping on a warm Budweiser?'”
Roo turned the radio back up. “I want my ring back.”
Adapted from Melissa Clark
Makes 8 Buns
A small mixing bowl
A large mixing bowl
A flat surface to shape the dough on
A sharp knife or pastry scraper, floured
A baking sheet lined with parchment paper or greased
1 tablespoon of white vinegar (you could use apple cider vinegar)
Two thirds of a cup plus 4 tablespoons of unsweetened, unflavored almond milk (you could use soy)
1 tablespoon of ground flax seed
1 cup of all purpose flour (plus extra for rolling and for your hands)
1 cup of whole wheat pastry flour (if you don’t have any, just use 2 cups all purpose total)
One and a half teaspoons of baking powder
Three quarters of a teaspoon of baking soda
One eighth of a teaspoon of fine sea salt
Quarter of a cup of sugar (this makes a slightly sweet bun)
3 tablespoons of cold butter, cubed (I used Earth Balance)
Two thirds of a cup of dried cranberries
Zest from one large orange (I used one the size of a softball, but I really love orange zest)
Place the oven rack to the middle position in the oven. Preheat the oven to 375F.
Add the vinegar, almond milk and ground flax seed to your small mixing bowl. Mix the ingredients together with a fork and set aside.
Add the flours, baking powder, baking soda, salt and sugar to a large mixing bowl. Whisk the ingredients together till well combined. Add the cubed butter to the flour mixture and work it in using your fingers till it forms coarse crumbs. Make a well in the center of the flour mixture.
Pour the wet ingredients into the dry and stir till just combined with a spatula. Add the dried cranberries and orange zest. Fold the ingredients into the batter till just combined (it’s going to be shaggy and wet).
Turn out the dough onto a lightly floured surface. This is a damp dough, so take care to throw some flour down. Shape it into about a 7-inch round (about an inch thick). Cut the round into 8 wedges (I used a pastry scraper with some flour thrown onto its edge. Remember, it’s a damp dough, but don’t worry! It’ll turn out.). Sprinkle a bit of flour onto your hands and shape each wedge into a ball. Transfer them onto a prepared baking sheet and bake for about 20 minutes, or golden and firm.
Allow the buns to cool for 10 minutes before serving.