Hot Chocolate

Seriously, how horrible is it when you text/tweet/email and you realize you absolutely regret what you just wrote.

I, for one, am a completely delusional person, and always in the mindset thinking that I’m hilarious; especially when impulsively tweeting from my iPhone.  Unfortunately, I am brought back to reality when after a second read, I realize that I’m either:

1) creepy

2) approaching stalker-status

3) confusing

4) not hilarious.

Let’s take a look, shall we?

No one wants to discuss geriatric shoe inserts.  Why would I admit this?  So.not.funny.

Oh. My. God. Why did I reply my first thought of botched conception and then crying about it over a movie?  FAIL.

I’m not even a mom.  Why did I suggest that?  And why am I obsessed with all things related to feet?  Socks?  Really?!

Overshare.  The end.

This is just the beginning of my starting to reply to/tweet randomly @sassyradish.  ie looking like a stalker.  In my defense, this youtube clip is hilarious.  Yeah, not much of a defense.

To give you some background, @sassyradish tweeted randomly one day how she switched gyms to Equinox.  I of course, remembered this (because I’m a stalker, remember?) and mentioned it in my reply.  I think she’s now scared for her life.

This, well, this I think is a matter of things getting misinterpreted in tweet-speak (I hate that I’m making that a word).  I meant it to be funny, but I think she took it personally.  Note to self, always use a smiley face because when I think I’m being hilarious, I’m not.  People just think I’m being mean, crazy, <insert deranged-person-characteristic here>.

None of these tweets got back replies, and you obviously know why.  Seriously, would you reply back?  I’m surprised I haven’t been blocked yet.

But with this oversharing, you will understand why sometimes I need to curl up with a mug of warm, rich, hot chocolate.  The shame of my impulsiveness in Twitter-land is just too much for one to handle, and the comfort of liquid chocolate is a necessity.

While you may lead a normal social media life, I hope that with it being the first week of November, you can take a step back from the strong coffees and teas, to indulge in something special.

Adapted from Melissa Clark’s In the Kitchen with a Good Appetite

Serves 2

Ingredients

One third of a cup of water

2 tablespoons of cocoa powder

Half cup of light coconut milk

1 cup of unsweetened almond milk

Quarter cup of turbinado sugar (or you can use brown sugar, I just didn’t have any in my cupboard)

Quarter cup of chocolate, chopped

1 teaspoon of vanilla extract

Equipment

2 small saucepans

A whisk

A sharp knife

Add the water to a small saucepan and place on a burner over medium heat.  Bring the water to a boil.  Whisk in the cocoa powder until smooth.  Remove from heat and set aside.

In a second saucepan, add the coconut milk, almond milk and turbinado sugar.  Place the pan on a burner over medium heat.  Whisk until the sugar has dissolved, about two to three minutes.  Add the cocoa powder mixture and chopped chocolate.  Stir till smooth.  Add the vanilla extract.

Serve, but maybe wait a minute till drinking so you don’t burn your tongue! …like I did.

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15 thoughts on “Hot Chocolate

  1. Hahaha. The internet is just ripe for horrible misinterpretations. Twitter is especially bad, because you’re forced to cram your oh-so-hilarious response into 140 characters, and inevitably you lose something vitally important to understanding your intent.

    However, I am SO with you on the inserts! I don’t even care if they make me seem like a 90-year-old grandma; I want to share the good word about them!

    • I have to agree, the 140 characters are breaking. my. balls.

      I love my inserts too, but when I didn’t get a reply back, all I could do was smack myself in the forehead and say, “Really, really you had to tell her about the inserts?!”

      Thanks for reading and commenting! It’s nice to know I’m not the only one trolling around LLN haha.

  2. I can totally relate! I remember so many things about people, it’s pathetic.
    And my turn to seem stalker-ish: I’ve noticed your comments on Jessica’s blog and you always have a whitty reply, at least in my opinion. 🙂

    • Thank you so much! Haha someone out there thinks I’m funny.

      …I give it a week till you regret encouraging me. 🙂

      Thanks so much for reading and commenting! It seriously means a lot as when I started I was convinced no one would ever read this. Thank you!

  3. Haha, I thought your replies were funny. And I thought the recipe said almond extract. That would be delicious. Or, just add some amaretto… Now liquor and chocolate, that’s what I need after today.

      • I love your blog! Sometimes I notice that you updated but I don’t get a chance to read it until later, and then I get to read two new posts in a row and that’s like a special treat!

      • Jeff, this seriously means so much! The fact that you take any time from your million-experiment filled day to take a look at LLN is amazing! Thank you so much for all your support! I really appreciate it.

  4. Haha Lys, this is funny! But honestly, I thought all of your replies were amusing and unoffensive except for maybe the one where you asked the woman if she ever sleeps. Lol! I think it’s normal to think about how you’d act as a mother even if you aren’t one yet. And honestly, I think more people than you’d think are online stalkers, otherwise fb and twitter wouldn’t be so popular! Then again, I think I do the same thing, with blurting out the first thing that comes to mind without thinking people will take it the wrong way and then sometimes they do, so I can relate!

    p.s. The hot chocolate sounds great, I want some!

    • I need more readers like you Jess! Thank you so much for reading giving such great feedback! I often forget that humans are naturally inquisitive so we are incredibly prone to um…social media stalking, I mean, following. I love that you also speak your mind, it’s a good trait to have, if I do say so myself! 🙂 I just second guess myself. A lot. Which is why scrolling through old tweets and emails is kind of self-sabotage for me. It’s a habit I definitely need to break.

      Thanks for commenting! And yes, come over for hot chocolate anytime! 🙂

      • Well, going through your old tweets made for an amusing and creative blog post, anyway! So all is well that ends well! 🙂

  5. Lys, I just found you BECAUSE of your hilarious comments, and I cracked up at every single tweet you posted up there. Please don’t stop doing your thing, Dr. Scholl’s inserts and all – the blogging world needs more people like you. I just found your blog and I can’t wait to dig into it, but I just had to say that first. Have a great weekend! 🙂

    • Woah, you totally made my morning. Thank you!

      It is so great to hear that there are people out there reading this!

      Roo and I always joke about whenever I talk about LLN, that the explanation of what it’s about is “because I’m hilarious!” in a strung out, 2-pack-a-day, cat lady, maybe with a sock puppet collection, voice. It has become especially intimidating when I apply for freelance jobs and they ask for my nutritional background, etc, and I reply back with “I’m funny!!!,” then laughing in a creepy heh heh heh way. Yup, you guessed it, total silence on the other end.

      Awkward.

      Thanks so much for reading and commenting! 🙂 If I could fed-ex you a gold star for doing so, I would. Wait. Aw, now it’s really awkward….

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