I have this fear. A completely irrational fear that only an obsessive planner, type A, control freak like myself could only come up with.
I’m afraid that I’m going to be a “Crunchy Mom.”
To me, a “Crunchy Mom” is basically one who strives to have their family live clean (like chemical free), healthy lives.
And what’s wrong with this?
Well, two things, 1) I’m not married and 2) I’m not pregnant.
I should have no concerns about this whatsoever. (I told you, it’s completely irrational.)
But after watching this You Tube spoof on Shit Girls Say (if you haven’t seen the original yet, where have you been!?), I couldn’t help but relate to what those women were saying.
For instance, I saw Business of Being Born. Again, I’m not even pregnant. I don’t know why the film called out to me from our Netflix queue, but it did, and I watched it.
And I liked it.
I found it super informative, even though I’m slightly traumatized from watching Ricki Lake give birth on film. Gone are the memories of Ricki prancing around on set in her oversized blazers during the opening credits. Instead, vagina.
I also rationalize a $20 maple syrup purchase from Whole Foods. (Because it’s Grade B. Of course.)
I love coconut oil and I have asked Roo if my shirt “shows my back fat.” The two may be related.
And while I don’t hush Roo so that I can focus on “my kegels,” (No.) a lot of this looks scarily foreseeable.
When I explained all of this to Roo (because he made the mistake of asking me, “what’s on your mind, Babe?”), he knew what to do.
He listened, “I mean, am I going to have a ‘Chicken Pox Party?’ My mom took me to one of those when I was a kid, and we all know how I’m going to turn into my mother.”
He smiled, “And I love full fat stuff. LOVE.”
He sat me down, “I’m just so….I don’t know. Everyone is having babies! My Facebook newsfeed is basically telling me to have babies.”
Translation: “I’m going to pout about having to go to work and try to wake you up at 6 a.m. anyways.”
Sighing heavily when the alarm sounds, stomping around the bedroom in the dark, then accidentally turning on the lights, may or may not have happened this morning.
I’m a real treat, I know.
But, for what I lack in manners, I make up for with cake.
You can totally apologize for not being a “morning person” with cake.
Accidentally throwing away your boyfriend’s $100 Xbox headset because you thought it was broken? And it totally wasn’t?
I don’t know if it’s the weather, the three loads of laundry that’s sitting by our bedroom door-a constant reminder of the chores that need to be done-or that the BU and BC students have returned from winter break.
Ok, I’m lying. I know it’s the students.
My commute gets longer, the lines at the grocery store are doubled, and there are practically no parking spots at Target. I feel like I can’t get anything done.
However, there are some benefits. For instance, being able to witness the scene they make at <insert name of favorite local bar here>, because honestly, we’ve all done it.
And by “we,” I mean girls in their 20s.
And by “it,” I mean like…
Shouting your friend’s name when they arrive. Not only do you channel Oprah by elongating every syllable in their name, but it’s done at a decibel level equivalent to a plane taking off.
“Kaylee!!!! Kaylee is here! KAAAAAAAY-LEEEEEEE GET YOOOOOUR BUUUUUTTTTT UP IN HEHHHRRRRRRRR!!!!”
Or exclaiming that a song being played is your song. Sweet Home Alabama was actually a response to Southern Man and Alabama by Neil Young. It’s no one’s song. Well, maybe except for Neil Young.
Then singing said song as loud as you can, blanking on most of the lyrics, but making up for it nonsensical English (meh reh na na la la la!)
And as the night progresses, decide that your shoes are akin to walking on hot, fiery coals. It’s totally logical to take off your shoes and walk around, even though there may be pieces of glass on the floor. The bar is your living room, right?
One of my goals for the New Year was to push myself in the kitchen a bit more. Changing our diet in October to help lower Roo’s cholesterol levels was a challenge all in itself, but participating in the VeganMoFo Monthly Iron Chef Challenge seemed like a great way to get out of my comfort zone. That is, reading cookbooks, blogs, etc. and adapting those recipes to meals both Roo and I could enjoy.
The rules for the Challenge are pretty simple in that there is only one rule: make an original dish. It can’t be something that you’ve previously posted that happens to involve the “secret ingredient” or be from, for example, a cookbook.
The “secret ingredient” this month was squash. To be honest, I knew right away I wanted to make a dish with kabocha, but how I was going to do it was a little beyond me.
Whenever Roo has school vacation I feel pressured into making sure there’s food in the house so that he doesn’t go back to his old ways of living on takeout.
While there isn’t anything wrong with treating yourself once in a while, Roo’s love for Foodler, and Foodler’s love for reminding him what he used to eat as a bachelor, makes me nervous. Cheeseburgers, chicken parm subs, and pizza, lots of pizza; meals that contribute to high cholesterol levels and make Roo’s doctor say things like “statins.”
Even though I’ll be at work this week, I’m comforted by the fact that I left soup, potstickers and noodles for Roo to have for lunch.
As for breakfast, that’s a little trickier. Roo is not one who likes to eat anything in the morning so it usually has to be something enticing like “breakfast cake.”
“Breakfast cake” is a term Roo coined months ago, after I started making healthier cakes that lacked frosting, were only slightly sweet, and great with a cup of coffee. It was a phrase that sounded all too perfect. And because of that, I couldn’t stop. I’ve been making “breakfast cake” every weekend since.
This week’s “breakfast cake” was inspired a bag of cranberries I found in the back of my fridge. With New Year’s approaching, I’ve had a sudden urge to clean and organize everything in the apartment. The downside is that I find things like an old bag of cranberries that I was suckered into buying because the clever labeling read, “Use One, Freeze One.”
I forgot to freeze the second one.
But, cranberry cardamom bread was made, and like most spiced goods, this cake gets better the longer it sits.
If you’ve never had cardamom before, it’s a spice that I can only describe as citrusy (sure, that’s a word). The orange zest and cranberries in this cake only enhance cardamom’s flavor; a potpourri of mid-winter awakening.
The outside of the cake is slightly caramelized, yielding a soft, pleasant crunch as you take your first bite. The crumb is more delicate than for example, a squash based cake, but in no way does it shrink away from the bold, tart cranberries. The slight sweetness pairs well with the berries that burst mid-baking.
I’m already looking forward to tomorrow morning so that I can have another slice of this for breakfast.
As long as Roo doesn’t beat me to the last slice first.
1 flax seed egg (1 tablespoon of ground flax seed and 3 tablespoons of warm water mixed and set aside for at least 5 minutes)
Half cup soy milk (or any other non-dairy milk of your choice) and half teaspoon of apple cider vinegar, set aside for at least 5 minutes
Quarter cup of butter (like Earth Balance)
1 cup of sugar
2 cups of white whole wheat flour
One and a half teaspoons of baking powder
Half teaspoon of baking soda
Half teaspoon of fine sea salt
Quarter cup of unsweetened applesauce
Zest from 1 orange
1 teaspoon of vanilla extract
Half teaspoon cardamom (Cardamom is an intense spice. If you’ve never used it before try a quarter teaspoon. And if you hate cardamom – gasp! – try cinnamon.)
12 ounces of cranberries (A bag of cranberries you can find at your supermarket)
–
Equipment
A stand mixer (or electric beaters and large bowl)
A medium sized mixing bowl
A whisk
A zester
A spatula
A 9″ loaf pan
Parchment paper or grease your loaf pan with either baking spray or butter and flour
–
Place the oven rack to the middle position in the oven. Preheat the oven to 350F.
Line the loaf pan with parchment paper (or grease it).
In your standing mixer (or with a electric beaters) add the butter and sugar and cream together for about 3 minutes (until well combined). Set aside.
In a medium mixing bowl add the flour, baking powder, baking soda and salt. Whisk the ingredients till well combined (and there are no visible lumps). Set aside.
To the standing mixer, add the applesauce, flax seed egg, soy milk with apple cider vinegar, orange zest, vanilla extract, and cardamom. Mix till well combined. Be sure to scrape down the bowl, going down the sides, and back up, with your spatula.
Add the dry ingredients to the wet. Mix till just combined, then scrape down the sides of the bowl. Add the cranberries and fold into the cake batter with your spatula.
The batter is going to be thick, don’t worry.
Scoop the batter into your prepared loaf pan. Bake for 50 – 60 minutes. At the 50 minute marker, check the cake with a cake tester (a toothpick, knife, fork etc). If it comes out from the middle of the loaf with only a bit of crumb, it’s done. If the cake tester yielded wet batter still on it, throw the cake back in the oven and bake for another five minutes. Continue checking every five minutes until it’s done.
Allow the cake to cool to room temperature before serving.
10 Reasons Why You Should Make Your Boyfriend Marbled Banana Bread
1. The trash is always taken out
2. Even though your apartment doesn’t have a dishwasher it doesn’t matter because they miraculously get done every night
3. Feet are never left alone in a cold corner under the duvet as they are always sought out to be intertwined
4. Cold hands always have a home in another’s warm ones without complaint (except that one time when you placed your ice cold hands on his bare rib cage and he screamed like you were skinning him alive…note to self, laughing so hard that you can’t breathe wasn’t the best response)
5. Heavy grocery items are whisked away from your overburdened shoulders with ease
6. No matter what kind of <insert hysterical moment of bad body image> day you’re having, you’re always looked at like you’re the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen when you’re getting dressed
7. He always moves to stand over the bathtub and gives you the sink, even though he started brushing his teeth way before you walked by and decided it was a good idea too
8. He ignores your obvious cookbook buying/Amazon addiction
9. He said he hated brussels sprouts and tofu but now serves himself seconds
10. He will often visit you in the kitchen as you make dinner to say it “smells really good,” pop a few items into his mouth, thinking you won’t see it but you always do
(This list of course will be followed by “10 reasons why you should make yourself something great because you live with your boyfriend,” because of course no relationship is perfect.)
Bananas and chocolate! In a loaf! Make this for someone you love right now. Or tonight for yourself. I won’t tell.
Quarter cup of soy milk (or your preferred non-dairy milk) with a quarter teaspoon of apple cider vinegar, mixed and set aside for about 5 minutes
Three quarters of a cup of sugar (this yields a not too sweet cake, if you’d like a sweet banana bread, go for 1 cup)
2 flax seed eggs (2 tablespoons of ground flax seed mixed with 6 tablespoons of warm water and set aside for at least 5 minutes)
2 cups of white whole wheat flour (If you would like the crumb that you would normally find in banana bread, all purpose is the way to go; for something a bit more luxurious and velvety, I would suggest using 2 cups of cake flour. I personally love the nutty, heartiness of white whole wheat. It makes me feel like I’m eating something wholesome.)
One small mixing bowl (to hold the cocoa powder and water in to be mixed)
A whisk
A spatula
A 9″ loaf pan
Parchment paper to line the loaf pan or baking spray/butter and flour the pan
A clean knife (like a dull butter knife)
–
Place your oven rack to the middle position and preheat your oven to 350F.
If using parchment paper, line the loaf pan, otherwise be sure to use plenty of baking spray/butter and flour the pan.
In a large mixing bowl add the mashed bananas, soy milk with apple cider vinegar, vanilla extract, applesauce, olive oil and flax seed egg. Mix till combined. Set aside.
In a medium mixing bowl add the flour, baking soda, baking powder, cinnamon and salt. Whisk the ingredients together to well combined (making sure there aren’t any lumps) and set aside.
In a small mixing bowl add the cocoa powder and 3 tablespoons of boiling water. Whisk till it becomes a smooth paste. If it’s still lumpy, add another tablespoon of water. Keep adding water and mixing until it’s smooth. Set aside.
Add the dry ingredients to the wet, mixing till just combined (be sure to scrape with a spatula the sides of the bowl, going down to the bottom and back up to ensure all the ingredients are mixed).
Remove half of the batter and place in your medium mixing bowl (where your dry ingredients used to be). Add the cocoa paste from the small mixing bowl and mix together till combined.
Start adding your cocoa and plain banana batter to the loaf pan. I just scooped out some plain and cocoa and threw it into the pan in bit dollops. If the batter starts to run away from you in the pan (because you greased it) it’s ok! It’s a marbled loaf, the sloppy batters aren’t going to hurt it.
When all of your batter is in the pan, take a clean knife and run it through the batter, making a couple swirling patterns. There is no “perfect” way to do this. Just swirl about and it’ll turn out great! Trust yourself.
Bake the loaf for 60 – 75 minutes or until a cake tester comes out clean (or with a bit of dry crumb, not wet) when inserted into the center of the loaf/the cake springs back at touch. Check the cake at the 55 minute marker as all ovens run at different levels of hot. My normally super hot/I love to dry out cakes asap oven took 70 minutes to fully bake this cake. Very unusual for my sometimes nemesis, but it was probably just having an off day.
There are times when I really miss my friends from Ireland.
Nearly six years ago, I boarded a plane headed to Ireland to attend graduate school in Dublin. I left behind a boyfriend of five years, my family, and my closest friends from undergrad. I think I cried. Twice.
The first semester was a little rough. I knew it rained in Ireland, but what I didn’t know is that it really rains. There were mornings where I would wake up to what seemed like the billionth rainy day, unwilling to leave the comforts of my duvet and hot water bottle, wondering why I hadn’t chosen a sunnier location for grad school.
Looking back, I don’t regret it. I came out of it with great friendships and valuable life lessons. For one, I learned who I really was, without that boyfriend I left in the states. Ireland made me realize that that relationship needed to end. For that alone I’m grateful. But what I’m especially grateful for is the friendship I have with AS.
Incredibly smart, kind, same size feet (serious luxury when you can only pack two bags of your belongings to live in a foreign country), generous and a fantastic cook; I couldn’t have asked for more in a friend.
I spent practically every weekend at her house where she would whip up “curried beans,” “salad on a warm tortilla with thai sweet chili sauce,” and “coconut rice.” All dishes I’ve never had, but gladly ate up.
What I remember most though, was her lemon cake. A buttery, lemony and not too sweet loaf that was incredibly easy to make and easily devoured in a day.
I wanted to make the same thing for Roo, as with the holiday season we can’t help but think of those we miss and love; AS being high up on that list. But, with Roo’s plant-based diet I knew I couldn’t rely on the recipe I memorized years ago. Instead, I went into the kitchen and made cake after cake (three, and it was no bueno having to eat the “losers” throughout the week) until I got my own version that I think would make AS proud.
Moist, lemony and chock full of cranberries leftover from an overzealous pre-Thanksgiving grocery trip, Roo finally did what I was waiting for: he went for seconds. And maybe a tiny third.
Inspired by AS Lemon Cake
Makes one 9″ Cake
–
Ingredients
Dry
Two and a quarter cups of white whole wheat flour
Quarter cup of ground flax seed
1 teaspoon of baking powder
1 teaspoon of baking soda
Quarter teaspoon of fine sea salt
Wet
1 flax seed egg (one tablespoon of ground flax seed and three tablespoons of warm water mixed together and set aside for about five minutes)
1 teaspoon of apple cider vinegar then measuring cup filled up to “1 cup” marker with soy milk (or any other unsweetened non dairy milk)
Quarter cup of vegetable oil
Quarter cup of unsweetened applesauce
Zest from 4 lemons
1 cup of sugar
1 teaspoon of vanilla extract
2 cups of cranberries and a quarter cup of sugar, pulsed in a food processor until chunky (you could also throw the cranberries in a large ziploc bag with the sugar and smash the cranberries with a rolling pin, wine bottle, whatever, till crushed up)
–
Equipment
One small sized mixing bowl
One medium sized mixing bowl
One large sized mixing bowl
A whisk
A zester
A spatula
A food processor
A 9″ cake pan either greased (buttered and floured) or lined with parchment paper
A clean fork
–
Place your oven rack in the middle position of the oven. Preheat your oven to 350F.
In a medium mixing bowl add the dry ingredients. Stir the ingredients together with a whisk till well combined and there are no lumps visible.
In a large mixing bowl, add the wet ingredients and stir till well combined. Add the dry ingredients to the wet, mixing till just combined. Add the cranberries to the bowl and stir till just combined. Be sure to scrape the bottom of the bowl with a spatula to ensure that all the ingredients are mixed in together.
Scoop out your cake batter into a greased or lined 9″ cake pan. Bake until the cake is firm to the touch and your cake tester (like a toothpick) comes out clean, about 40 to 45 minutes.
Allow cake to cool before serving. If sliced into warm, it’ll try to fall apart on you. Boo.
Roo has lived in our apartment for about ten years. Two years ago, I remember getting buzzed into the building and walking up three flights of winding stairs, before reaching the top floor apartment. Our date was spent sitting on his bed, as his roommate was in the television room and there was no where else for us to go. The bed was by three uninsulated windows, and I remember being so cold, as I felt the November chill find its way through the seams. We talked, sipped whiskey, and listened to a Best of Tom Petty album. It was pretty great.
The apartment at the time housed bachelors that were there to do three things: eat, sleep and poop (Everyone Poops, I hope you’re now over it). Cleaning was not on the top of the list, and while I myself admit to being a slob, these boys made me look like a reality star from Obsessed.
When Roo asked me to move in with him last year, there was no denying it, I knew what I was getting into…
The kitchen housed a broken toilet (literally, in the middle of the floor) and five cinderblocks.
There wasn’t a refrigerator.
The bathroom did not have properly functioning toilet. You had to stick your hand in the cold tank to pull on the chain to make it flush. I hated this.
Said toilet completely broke before I moved in, and then the kitchen housed two broken toilets.
I once tried to be “helpful” by picking up a large dustball off the floor, but it turned out to be a mouse the cats had killed god-only-knows-when.
There wasn’t hand soap in the entire apartment at the time. Anywhere.
I ended up cleaning my hands with shampoo, wailing (wailing helps with decontamination) over a sink that is “old fashioned” with separate “hot” and “cold” spouts. Going from “burn” to “freeze” also helped with decontaminating. Sure.
Roo was incredibly sweet when he asked me to live with him last July, as he immediately followed his question with, “but I’ll make sure that this place is nice by September. Everyone’s moved out now so I can make this place so much better. I promise.”
While there were only two rooms that were barely functional in the house (the kitchen and the bathroom), Roo only had enough money to re-vamp one. I asked for a working toilet, but as for how the bathroom looked itself, that wasn’t really a deal breaker for me. What did make me hesitant was the state of the kitchen. And Roo didn’t let me down.
Roo repainted the walls, bought us a new refrigerator, removed the items that were being stored there (ie two toilets and five cinder blocks), and basically made it beautiful place to make my meals. He moved an old oak table he had in storage to one side of the kitchen, so we could eat there. Even the floors were steam-cleaned, and right before I started unpacking my pans, he pulled out some shelving from the guest bedroom to store my cookbooks.
As the anniversary of our first date approaches, I can’t help but think of the first thing I made Roo and brought over to his apartment. It was towards the end of November, practically right on top of Thanksgiving. I was in an obsessive phase with pumpkin (but who isn’t this time of year?), so I baked him a loaf of pumpkin bread.
This year, I wanted to make something that brought together the flavors from my favorite family holiday (Thanksgiving) and Roo’s (Christmas), but had no idea how to do it. When I stumbled upon Elise’s recipe for Pumpkin Gingerbread, it was the inspiration I was looking for. Rich molasses swirled into a smooth pumpkin puree, bold flavors such as ginger and cinnamon shining through, made a cake that I was incredibly eager to share. I’ve already packed a bunch of slices for my co-workers for when I see them next.
I think Roo will enjoy this for breakfast this week, especially as with time, the flavors truly meld together and make something I’m sure he won’t mind skipping his daily Starbucks $3 holiday loaf for.
Makes One Loaf (or, if you’d like to reduce the baking time, split the batter into two loaf pans)
–
Ingredients
One and a half cups of white whole wheat flour
Quarter teaspoon of fine sea salt
One rounded teaspoon of baking soda
2 teaspoons of ground ginger
One and a half teaspoons of ground cinnamon
Quarter teaspoon of ground nutmeg
One and a quarter cups of pumpkin puree
Quarter cup of butter (like Earth Balance), melted
Half cup of turbinado sugar (you can use regular sugar, turbinado was all I had)
Half cup of molasses
1 tablespoon of fresh ginger, grated
2 flax seed eggs (2 tablespoons of ground flax seed and 6 tablespoons of warm water, combined and set aside for about 5 minutes)
3 tablespoons of water
Half cup of raisins (optional)
Extra turbinado sugar for sprinkling (optional)
–
Equipment
A large mixing bowl
A medium mixing bowl
A whisk
A spatula
A 9×5 loaf pan
Parchment paper, or butter and flour to grease your pan
–
Place your oven rack to the middle position in the oven. Preheat your oven to 350F.
In a medium mixing bowl add the white whole wheat flour, salt, baking soda, ginger, cinnamon and nutmeg. Whisk the ingredients together until they are well combined and there are no longer any lumps.
In the large mixing bowl add the pumpkin puree, melted butter, sugar, molasses, fresh grated ginger, flax seed eggs and water. Mix till the ingredients are combined. Be sure to scrape down the bowl so that all ingredients are incorporated.
Add the dry ingredients to the wet, in increments. Stir the ingredients till combined. Add the raisins, if using, and stir till combined. Again, be sure to scrape down the bowl so that all ingredients are incorporated.
Scoop out the batter into a prepared loaf pan (either lined with parchment paper, or buttered and floured). Bake for one hour ten minutes to an hour and a twenty minutes (this cake is filled to the max with pumpkin, so it’s going to take a while to cook through). At the hour marker, remove the pan and sprinkle a little turbinado sugar on top, if using. At the hour five marker, remove the pan and check to see if it’s done with a cake tester, like a toothpick. If it pulls out clean, it’s done. If not bake for an additional five minutes and keep checking until it’s done.
Remove the pan from the oven and allow it to cool (in the pan) for about ten minutes. Run a knife along the edge of the loaf and remove it from the pan. Allow it to cool till room temperature before serving. If you can wait till overnight to eat it, the flavor of the cake will be so much better. But, we couldn’t, we’re not judging.
Why yes, it is a roll of toilet paper inside a ziploc bag.
But why is it being stored like this?
Because of this.
Well more because of this,
who’s main goal in life, is to do evil and destruction (see that scowl? The planning?), hence the name (Evil Monkey).
Monkey, like the rest of the deranged, has an affinity for the most random.
Aluminum foil? Delicious.
Bottle caps? Nom nom nom.
Full bellies?
Ok, the last I do appreciate.
But as of late toilet paper rolls have been her latest fascination/obsession. And we’ve tried everything to deter it. Hiding it in the back of the bathroom shelving, putting it on the towel rack up high; she conquered them all.
So, the other day when I walked into the bathroom (the bathroom door had been closed, but like a velociraptor, she’s learned how to open doors. PS did that movie scare the crap out of you when you were a kid? Traumatized.) there she was, on the bathroom shelf, batting the toilet paper in between her paws. She then looked up at me, and whacked it into the open toilet bowl. Yes, she knocked it into the toilet on purpose. (Roo just nodded along as I retold the story to him, my voice raising an octave with every sentence. He almost looked like he was going to pat me on the head. Almost.)
Needless to say, I lost it. I threatened to make her into a jacket as I grabbed another toilet paper roll out of the closet. I told her I was going to bring her back to the shelter because she had outlived her cost in toilet paper rolls (who am I?). But then, I took a deep breath, and came up an (insane) idea. I put it in a ziploc bag.
While Monkey hasn’t figured out yet how to conquer the ziploc bag, it does make for awkward conversation when we have guests over…
F: Hey, can I use your bathroom?
L: Yeah, um…just one thing. The toilet paper is in a ziploc bag.
F: Oh, ok?
L: Um, but what I don’t think you get is that it has to go back in the bag when you’re done. Anditneedstobesealed.
F: (look of questioning our friendship)
Yes, I’ve now become that person.
I’ve been joking with Roo for a while now that we need to get a dog to keep our cats in line. And with Christmas a month away, I’ve been upping the ante.
L: Hey, you know what would make a really great Christmas gift? Besides that super awesome printer you bought last year, that didn’t really show up till after New Year’s because you forgot to hit “submit” on Amazon? Yeah, that was great. But you know what else is great? A dog.
(Yes, suggestion with double-guilt as the gift was late and it was…a printer.)
L: Wouldn’t it be great for every couple in your family to have a dog? And then we’d all get together for Christmas, with our dogs, and maybe even take a photo? Those would be some great memories.
(This was just plain old crazy talk, as I can now only imagine how chaotic the scene would be. The “other dogs” in the family are: one overweight dachshund – his only flaw, he’s kind of awesome, a great dane that has the mentality of Lennie from Of Mice and Men, and another dachshund, who once peed in the mouth of Roo’s mom when he jumped up to greet her. True story.)
I realized I had to play dirty. And by dirty I mean I needed to bake a cake. Something that tasted like Christmas but not your typical, “hey it’s almost Christmas, let’s get a dog kind of cake.” Yes, those cakes exist (in my mind…and if you read that in a creepy Faye Dunaway/Joan Crawford’s Mommy Dearest voice, then you are far more awesome than I expected).
Cook This Now turned out to be the answer: Melissa Clark’s new cookbook that instructs the reader in what to make with produce that’s at its peak, in month-to-month chapters. For November, she had a recipe for sticky cranberry gingerbread, and I knew that was the cake.
What Roo could only describe as “like Christmas punching you in the face,” it was gooey, packed with firey ginger, smooth, rich molasses and sweet and tart cranberries, some folded in whole and the rest made into lovely sauce, swirled into the batter. It was an “in your face” kind of cake, but the texture was incredibly comforting, as I think rarely anyone would turn down something so sticky and gooey. It wasn’t like “Oh my god this taffy is preventing me from opening my mouth, gah!!!” kind of sticky, but that “I just sneaked a slice straight out of the oven, and nobody knows” kind of wonderful. But fully cooled. And even better the next day.
While Roo didn’t turn to me, absolutely hypnotized, rambling, “Must. Get. Dog,” I can say that the cake may have made him nod his head a little bit more when I again, suggested getting another family member. I guess we’ll have to see what Christmas brings.
2 – 3 cups fresh or frozen cranberries (2 if you want just the cranberry sauce swirled in, 3 if you’d like extra, whole cranberries folded into the batter)
1 cup granulated sugar
1 tablespoon of water
Half cup butter, like Earth Balance (I know it’s a bit of butter, but I significantly reduced the amount of sugar, so yay! Compromise!)
Half cup unsweetened unflavored almond milk (or any other non-dairy milk)
(an overflowing) Half cup of molasses
(an overflowing) Quarter cup of brown rice syrup (I think I have a poor hand to pour with, because in both cases my liquid syrups flowed over the measuring cups. Whoops.)
One and a half cups of white whole wheat flour
1 tablespoon of ground ginger
Half teaspoon of ground cinnamon
Half teaspoon of baking powder
Quarter teaspoon of baking soda
Quarter teaspoon of fine sea salt
Quarter teaspoon of ground pepper
2 flax seed eggs (2 tablespoons of ground flax seed and 6 tablespoons of warm water, mixed and set aside for about ten minutes)
1 tablespoon freshly grated gingerroot (this makes the cake incredibly firey, which we absolutely loved the next day)
2 – 3 tablespoons of turbinado sugar to sprinkle over the top, five minutes prior to taking out of the oven, for a lovely crunch (optional)
–
Equipment
2 small sauce pans (can hold about 5 cups)
a medium sized mixing bowl
a large sized mixing bowl
a whisk
a spatula
a hand grater (for the freshly grated gingerroot)
a (square) nine inch cake pan (if you don’t have a square one, that’s ok)
a knife
a large spoon
–
Place the oven rack in the middle position in your oven. Preheat your oven to 350F.
Make your flax seed eggs and set aside.
In one of the small sauce pans, add 2 cups of the cranberries, granulated sugar and 1 tablespoon of water. Place the pan over a burner on medium heat. Stir the cranberry mixture occasionally until the sugar is completely dissolved and a syrupy bubbling sauce forms. Some of the cranberries will retain their structure, while others will burst and ooze into the sauce (yum). This will take about ten minutes. Remove the pan from heat and set aside.
In your second sauce pan, add the butter (like Earth Balance), non-dairy milk, molasses and brown rice syrup. Place the pan over medium heat and stir occasionally, until the ingredients just start to simmer. Remove the pan from heat and set aside.
In a medium sized mixing bowl, add the white whole wheat flour, ginger, cinnamon, baking powder, baking soda, salt and pepper. Whisk the ingredients until they are well combined and there are visually no more lumps.
In a large sized mixing bowl, add the butter and molasses mixture. Add the dry ingredients to the large sized mixing bowl, stirring the ingredients till combined. Be sure to scrape down the sides of the bowl as it’s quite a sticky batter. Add the flax seed eggs, stir till combined. Add the freshly ground ginger, stir till combined. Add the 1 extra cup of cranberries (if using), and fold them into the batter.
Scoop out the batter into your cake pan. With a large spoon, add the cranberry sauce to the top of the batter. You can just dollop the sauce out on top. Then, with a knife, swirl through the batter as if you’re making a marbled cake.
Bake the cake for about 45 – 55 minutes, depending on how hot your oven runs. At the 35 minute mark, take the cake out of the oven, and sprinkle the top with turbinado sugar, if using. At the 40 minute mark, take a cake tester (like a toothpick) and insert it into the center of the cake. If it comes out clean, then it’s done. If not, put it back in the oven and keep checking it every five minutes.
When the cake is done, cool till room temperature before serving.
*Roo and I thought that this cake was far far better the next day. The ginger and cranberries were really able to meld together overnight, and what resulted, can be best described by Roo as, “like Christmas punching you in the face.” If you can wait overnight to eat this cake, I highly recommend it. Lastly, it sets up really nicely overnight as well. When you eat it out of the oven it’s gooey and all, but falls apart a bit. Next day = so. much. better.
I’ve mentioned it quite a bit this month that some items in our CSA has been more difficult to get through than others. Produce like kale and onions were used within a day or two, while squashes and sweet potatoes have found practically a permanent residence on the shelf next to our Keurig.
I’ve honestly never made a cake with butternut squash before, but being related to pumpkin, I figured why not do a twist on a cake that I love so much this time of year. Also, I had such good luck with my sweet potato cake, that I was hoping I’d ride on that recipe karma to something fantastically unexpected.
Yes, I always have high expectations. That’s how I roll.
I’m glad that I took the chance, as this cake is incredibly moist, lush, with bits of chocolate speckled through the batter, yet countered beautifully with the bright, tart cranberries. It’s something that I look forward to making again, especially since squash season is far from over and warming our apartment with an oven baking a cake is far better than turning on the radiator (hello humidifier, please jump into my trunk at Target because our heater hates my hair).
This makes two cakes, but can be easily halved. The batter is especially thick and when the original recipe is used (for the two cakes), it is a large amount, therefore making one cake should be considered especially when not using a stand mixer.
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Ingredients
5 cups of butternut squash “moosh” (1 large butternut squash) *Peel, de-seed and cut your squash into chunks and place on a microwave safe plate. Cover with a paper towel and microwave until very soft. (This took me about 10 minutes.) Mash the chunks until very smooth, thus “moosh.”
One and a half cups of sugar
2 flax seed eggs (2 tablespoons of ground flax seed, mixed with 6 tablespoons of water, set aside for ten minutes)
1 cup of unsweetened unflavored almond milk (or another non-dairy milk)
Three quarters of a cup of mild tasting olive oil (if you are halving this recipe, you will need 6 tablespoons of olive oil)
1 teaspoon of vanilla extract
4 cups of white whole wheat flour
1 heaping tablespoon of baking soda
1 heaping tablespoon of baking powder
1 tablespoon of ground cinnamon
1 teaspoon of ground nutmeg
1 cup of dried cranberries (I love it when the dried cranberries plump up in a cake, so yes, 1 cup it is)
Quarter to a half cup of chocolate, chopped
Quarter cup of turbinado sugar, for sprinkling (you can use regular sugar)
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Equipment
1 large sized mixing bowl (the biggest one you have, seriously)
1 medium sized mixing bowl
A spatula
A whisk
Two 9″ cake pans
Parchment paper (optional) or grease your pan (with butter, like Earth Balance, and dust with flour)
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Place the oven rack in the middle position in your oven. Preheat your oven to 350F.
In the medium sized mixing bowls, add the flour, baking soda, baking powder, cinnamon and nutmeg. Whisk the ingredients together, till combined.
In the large sized mixing bowl, add the butternut squash “moosh,” flax eggs, sugar, almond milk, olive oil and vanilla extract. Stir till combined.
Add the dry ingredients to the wet, in increments. Stir till combined. Fold in the dried cranberries and dark chocolate. The batter is going to be extremely thick and you’re going to question my sanity. Trust it.
Spoon out the batter into your pans.
Bake for about about 35 – 45 minutes. At the 30 minute mark, sprinkle the turbinado sugar over the tops of the cakes. At the 35 minute mark, use a cake tester (like a toothpick), and insert into the middle of the cake. If it comes out with a little bit of crumb, it’s done. If not, put it back in the oven for another five minutes, and check again.
When done, remove from oven and allow to cool to room temperature before serving.
Liz Lemon Nights 