Dear Young Singleton,
Perhaps you came across this page, hoping to find some nekid pics of Liz Lemon. Sorry to disappoint, but while you’re here, can we talk about a couple things? Like, what not to say to girls¹. I can’t exactly tell you what to say, but if you avoid the following, you may be able to avoid another night alone Googling ‘What’s under Liz’s shirt.’
1) Are you really going to wear that?
I was, until you looked at me like I was rolling around in cheese. Now I hate clothes. All the clothes.
2) Don’t you have enough shoes?
THERE ARE NEVER ENOUGH SHOES! (wipes drool from side of mouth)
3) Are there going to be any guys there?
Yes. It’s actually brothel. And you’re so not invited.
4) You should definitely get a gym membership.
Now I’m just going to spite-eat these cookies while picturing your face melting off. In yoga pants of course.
5) Are you going to eat all of that?
Yes, and so should you. It’s delicious. Asshole.
It may be the beginning of fall, but there’s plenty of summer corn around at the farmers’ markets. This soup is creamy from the blended potatoes, a bit sweet from the corn, with just a hint of earthiness from the thyme and pairs wonderfully with crusty bread. As the days get shorter and the nights get cooler, I crave nothing but soup to prepare me for the hard months ahead.
Adapted from Creamy Broccoli Soup
About Six Servings
A sharp knife
A large pot with lid
A blender or a hand immersion blender
1 tablespoon of mild tasting olive oil
1 large onion, diced
2 ribs of celery, diced
2 medium carrots, diced
2 medium potatoes, cut into chunks (about a pound)
1 big garlic clove, minced
1 teaspoon of dried thyme
1 bay leaf
4 cups of low (or no) sodium vegetable broth
3 ears of corn, shucked and kernels cut off the cob (about three and a half cups)
1 cup of unsweetened unflavored soy milk
Salt and pepper to taste
Add the oil to the pot and place over a burner on medium heat. When the oil starts to shimmer, add the diced onion and celery. Cook, stirring occasionally, until the onion and celery become translucent. Add the carrots and potatoes, stirring them in to incorporate into the ingredients. Cook for about five minutes, stirring occasionally, until the potatoes and carrots start to brown a little. Add the minced garlic and thyme. Stir to incorporate into the ingredients. Cook until fragrant (about a minute).
Pour in the broth. Bring the broth to a boil, then lower the heat so that the ingredients are at a simmer. Cover the pot and simmer about twenty minutes (or until the potatoes are almost soft).
Add the corn to the pot, stirring the ingredients so that everything is evenly distributed. Cover the pot and allow the soup to simmer for another ten minutes (or until the potatoes are soft and the corn is cooked through).
Remove the pot from heat.
Add the soy milk, stirring into the soup so that everything is incorporated.
With an immersion blender, blend about half of the soup, or to the consistency that you wish (I like to have some bits left whole in my soup). If you don’t have an immersion blender, ladle some soup into your blender, but be careful to not fill more than half way. Lid, cover with a towel (to protect your hand), and immediately blend (do not let steam build up in the blender or else you may risk of eruption and burning your hand!). Add it back to the soup, and continue this until the soup is down to the consistency you desire.
Add salt and pepper to taste.
¹ Roo has never said any of these things to me. My exes however are another story.