I keep secrets. I give the best hostess gifts. And I can make you laugh.
Getting me to actually show up at your house?
Terrible. As in 99% unlikely. Which is why Roo was surprised to hear where I was going on Friday.
“You’re actually driving to Gardner. Gardner, Massachusetts?”
“Yes. Past Framingham, near Leominster.”
“But it’s Friday,” Roo said, sitting down on the couch and putting up his feet, “We get tired on Fridays.” *
I shot Roo a look as I felt for my keys in my purse, “Of course we get tired on Fridays! But I still need to go. I haven’t seen AA in over a year.”
“You can’t reschedule?”
“You are the worst!” I said, throwing a pillow at Roo. “Besides, JL is going to be there and I haven’t seen her in ages either.”
AA and JL are dear friends. And powerhouses.
They are the women seen tearing through a Warrior Dash, just because they got up early that morning and thought, “You know what would go well with this cup of coffee? Mud.”
Photos from JL
I am not built like them.
Photo from AA
I’m deathly afraid of heights, whine when I get a blister on my toe, and despite my love of power yoga, I hate sweating.
But the three of us love to laugh, drink wine and share the most humiliating stories. It’s what we do.
I love it.
Conversation ranged from “how girls don’t fart,” followed by “then I woke myself up by farting. On my boyfriend.” to “do they not see me? why am I always sat on? I’m a person!” that night. I haven’t laughed that hard in a while. And on my drive home I was inspired.
AA recently became a home owner and JL has two children. They both train for whateverendurance event is coming up while living very busy lives.
When they get home they need a quick, easy meal that can refuel them while satisfying the taste buds of little ones and in AA’s case, her big guy.
Stir fry was the first thing that came to mind. It’s a one pot meal (especially if you have leftover cooked quinoa) and can be thrown together less than 30 minutes.
I am not the best when it comes to “just buying the essentials.”
When I’m let loose in a store, I end up trying to rationalize purchases “we absolutely do not need.” Well, according to Roo.
Last weekend I convinced myself that I needed five pairs of knee high socks.
“Why is there a plethora of socks at the bottom of this Target bag?”
“Oh. I need them. You know, to keep warm. Boston’s cold in the winter.”
“Spring is almost a week away.”
“I’m cold!”
Roo picks up one of the pairs, “This doesn’t have to do with the fact that they all have Hello Kitty on them?”
Damn.
What’s ironic is that this behavior gets quite bad when I’m trying to save money. After a few weeks of setting a little aside from each paycheck, I feel the need to reward myself. And if that treat comes to me via “free super saver shipping” from Amazon, then so be it.
Today, it was a donut pan.
But I’ll be ready when Roo comes home from his mother’s.
“I can’t believe you said that! Now I’m going to have to eat my feelings in peanut butter.”
“Sometimes I think you try to find things I say offensive, just so you can find an excuse to eat peanut butter.”
“……I can’t believe you said that! Now I’m going to have to eat my feelings in peanut butter!”
“Like I said.”
Roo may have a point, but I’ll never admit it.
Would you?
…Don’t answer that.
One of my favorite ways of eating peanut butter is standing by the kitchen cupboard and eating it out of the jar with a spoon. I swear it tastes 10 times better this way.
I also love it on classics like toast. Practically burnt toast with a dollop of peanut butter has been my breakfast for the majority of these bitterly cold mornings (it’s 24F as I type). This sticky, crunchy, lip smacking treat makes waking before sunrise almost bearable when paired with a hot cup of tea.
I said almost.
This past weekend I made a couple loaves of a recent favorite: pumpkin and molasses with dried cranberries and golden raisins. It’s a great toasting bread, where the natural sugars from the pumpkin and molasses have this wonderful crunch; almost caramelized with an ever so slight, sticky chew. It’s chock full of raisins and cranberries, but I love that the pumpkin still shines through. Spices like cinnamon, nutmeg and ginger enhance the pumpkin’s warmth, but notes of caramel that can be tasted in the squash naturally make it a perfect partner to deep, lush molasses.
But like any relationship, we’ve had our ups and mostly downs.
When I first moved in with Roo two summers ago, what I can only describe as “hazing” by Evil Monkey happened for months.
Roo tried to explain Monkey’s bad behavior for “not being used to girl things,” as I sat in that apartment, terrified to move.
It was probably one of the hottest summers in a few years, which forced Roo and I to have the fans on high throughout the apartment. Some hot afternoons I would try to lie down on the couch to nap; hair carelessly dangling over the side and blowing in the fan, only to have Monkey jump up and attempt to scalp me. There were also times where I would wake up, from the false comforts of sweet dreams, to find her chewing on my hair. Wide eyed, mewing and chewing, a few inches from my face.
Horrifying.
Summer dresses ruffling in the crosswind from the fans were also open to kitty attacks. To be immersed in a book, left one open for a Monkey run-by, as she would grab at my dress, trying to claw her way up my legs, only to bound off by my incessant screeching and squirming.
There were times where I told Roo I was going to sit naked in our apartment for safety sake. To which he replied, “do you really think you’re going to be safer, naked?”
I never sat there naked.
And while Monkey no longer outright terrorizes me in our apartment, she has developed some other quirks.
Her love for toilet paper has forced us to store it in a resealable plastic bag. She loves to climb up the Christmas tree and knock down ornaments; shredding them up and leaving them in her wake. Her obsession with bottle caps and aluminum foil make us fear for her own safety and can never be left out, like toilet paper.
Yet we recently discovered she has an even more dangerous habit.
Water glasses. She loves to push water glasses off of tables.
And when I came home from work today, to find that she knocked over a water glass from the coffee table, shards of broken glass embedded in our crappy carpet, I lost it.
I vacuumed the mess in silence. Cleaning up all the pine needles, glass and other “bits of Monkey” (clumps of hair, string, and God-knows-what else lives underneath our couches). And then I locked myself in the living room, a convenience of having french doors with a hook-and-eye at my eye level; something Monkey could never unlatch with her sneaky paws.
I still sit here now, writing up this post about potstickers (or supposed to be about potstickers), eating my dinner and watching Monkey as she watches me from outside the french doors. Pacing, sitting and watching, pacing again. Sometimes sticking her paw in the gap, where the doors don’t quite reach the hardwood floors, attempting to pull it open, only to be foiled by the hook-and-eye.
And you know what? These potstickers are delicious. Probably more delicious than anything I’ve eaten this week, as we know a victory (albeit a small victory as my nemesis right now is a cat…I know) makes everything taste like happiness.
I had initially made these potstickers for Roo as he was missing the pork-filled gyoza I used to make him before our lifestyle change. The texture is virtually the same, and I honestly think they even taste better (victory aside).
Thin, crispy dumpling wrappers, envelope a quinoa and shitake mushroom filling, packed with umami. Avocado is used as the binding ingredient, something I experimented with great success, as I didn’t feel comfortable using a flaxseed-egg in a non-baked good. It can’t be tasted in the filling, as its outshone by the bright ginger, super savory shitake mushrooms, with just a little bit of bite from the scallions. The chili dipping sauce is the same I used for my potstickers with lentil and caramelized onion filling, and pairs just as fabulously with these.
I also love that this is a dump-and-mix dish; all the ingredients for the filling are thrown in a bowl, combined, then scooped into empty dumpling wrappers. The most labor intensive part of this dish is folding the wrappers, which is not hard at all. All it takes are wet fingers to run along the edge of the wrapper, then folded, and then tossed in the pan to cook.
If anything, don’t wait till you’ve locked yourself in the living room to try these. They’re just too good.
A heaping half cup of dried shitake mushrooms added to a cup of hot water and set aside to rehydrate, then minced
2 cloves of garlic, minced
3 scallions, dark and light green parts minced (a scallion with three branches basically)
1 tablespoon of freshly grated ginger (be sure not to do more than this as it’ll make the filling bitter)
4 teaspoons low sodium soy sauce
4 teaspoons mirin
2 teaspoons sesame seed oil
1 avocado, mashed with a fork until smooth
Salt to taste (I use a quarter teaspoon of fine sea salt)
1 package of gyoza wrappers
1 to 2 tablespoons of mild tasting olive oil (or any other mild tasting oil) to pan fry the gyoza with
A cup of warm water
For the chili dipping sauce
1 red chili pepper (I used a Mirasol, but whatever you have on hand that’s spicy)
One tablespoon of sugar
Quarter cup of soy sauce
Quarter cup of water
3 scallions, dark and light green parts minced (a scallion with three branches basically)
Sesame oil to taste (it’s pretty potent so my “yum” may be your “blech”)
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Equipment
One medium sized mixing bowl
One very large saute pan
One water glass (to hold warm water in)
Tongs/Chopsticks (whatever you can use to pick up the potstickers with from the pan)
A small bowl (for your chili dipping sauce)
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Add a quarter cup of water and a quarter cup of soy sauce to a small bowl. Cut open the chili pepper with a knife, sprinkle with sugar, and then start chopping. Smash the sugar into the chili pepper with the knife while cutting it up. Stop when chili pepper is diced. Scoop up the chili pepper and sugar and add to the small bowl. Add the diced scallions. Stir to combine. Taste, and add the sesame oil to your liking (start off with a couple drops!).
In a medium sized mixing bowl add all your ingredients and stir till combined. The mixture should be very wet (like the consistency of ground pork filling for non-vegetarian gyoza/potstickers). Taste and season with salt if desired. It should be seasoned well so that it can be eaten on its own.
Place your wrappers on a flat surface. Add about a teaspoon of filling to the center of each dumpling. Wet your fingers in the cup of water, and run your fingers along the edge of each wrapper. Fold the wrapper in half, and press the edges tightly closed. Keep going with this process until you run out of filling.
Add a tablespoon or two of olive oil to a large saute pan. Place the pan onto a burner over medium high heat. When the oil starts to shimmer, start laying down your potstickers into the oil, making sure that they don’t touch. This prevents them from sticking together. Cook the potstickers until they are golden brown (the side face down in the oil). Add the one third cup of water, and then cover the pan immediately with a lid. Cook the dumplings for a couple of minutes, until the water is almost evaporated. Remove the lid and cook the potsickers until the water is evaporated. For me, this took about a minute. Remove the potstickers from the pan. If necessary, repeat with any remaining potstickers.
If you’re anything like me, you’re probably going over to someone else’s house to eat today’s dinner. Although I am helping my mother cook this year, I still feel pressured to bring a hostess gift. It’s something that’s been ingrained since childhood.
These cookies are quite honestly, perfect. They are packed with flavor; loads of lemon zest and freshly grated ginger, only to be finished off with a slight crunch from the sugar that they’re rolled in. I also love the scalloped imprint that they have from the back of a fork. I am a sucker for pretty cookies, and to me these are exactly that.
I hardly think anyone after a Thanksgiving feast wants to eat something super heavy around 8 at night. My mother always made a pot of tea and had a cookie or two before getting ready for bed; a tradition that goes back to my first memorable Thanksgiving dinner.
There’s something comforting about seeing my mother go through the same motions, every year: tea towel wrapped around the kettle to keep it warm, a flowery piece of good china from the back of the cupboard, only to place a handful of cookies on, and always the same cup, because it was her favorite; tiny ivy leaves winding up the back of the handle.
While the dough needs to rest for an hour in the fridge, I’ll use that time to shower and get dressed. Overall these cookies are quite easy and quick to make, with a baking time of about 15 minutes.
*Please note that before baking these, the dough requires at least an hour of chilling (up to 1 day). So plan ahead!
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Ingredients
Dry
Three cups of white whole wheat flour
1 teaspoon of baking powder
Half teaspoon of baking soda
Quarter teaspoon of salt
Wet
Half cup of unsweetened applesauce (I used homemade)
Quarter cup of mild flavored olive oil (or any other mild flavored oil like canola)
2 tablespoons of ground flaxseed
1 cup of sugar
Quarter cup of freshly grated ginger (I know it seems like a lot, but it’s so worth it, especially with the amount of lemon you’re putting in. It’s a one-two punch of flavors.)
1 teaspoon of ground ginger
Grated lemon zest from 1 lemon, about a tablespoon (this is for an equal amount of lemon with ginger in flavoring, if you want the ginger to be more of a star, use half)
Juice from 1 lemon
Half teaspoon of vanilla extract
Half cup of sugar set aside, for rolling the dough balls in (optional, but really pretty!)
A handful of flour for your hands, to prevent the dough balls from sticking to your skin (I don’t mind, but some care)
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Equipment
One medium sized mixing bowl
One large sized mixing bowl
A whisk
A spatula
A cookie sheet (lined with parchment paper or greased) or two
Some plastic wrap or a tupperware container to let the dough rest and be chilled
A plate (to pour some sugar onto and roll the dough balls in)
A fork (to press into your cookies for a pretty scallop imprint, optional)
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In a medium mixing bowl add your dry ingredients: flour, baking powder, baking soda and salt. Whisk the ingredients together till well combined and no lumps are visible.
In a large mixing bowl add your wet ingredients: unsweetened applesauce, oil, ground flaxseed, sugar, lemon zest, lemon juice and vanilla extract. Stir till well combined.
Add your dry ingredients into your wet, in increments. Stir the two mixtures together until they are well incorporated. At first, it’s going to look like a dry, chalky mess. Keep going, it’ll come together.
Cover the dough with plastic wrap (or put it in a sealable/coverable container) and chill for at least an hour, up to 1 day.
When the dough is ready to go…
Place your oven racks in the upper middle and lower middle position in the oven. If you’re using just one cookie sheet, then place one oven rack in the middle position in the oven. Preheat the oven to 350F.
In a plate, pour the sugar set aside onto it, if using. Dust your hands with flour, if you are keen on not getting the dough stuck to your hands (I don’t care, more snack for me!).
Form the dough into about 1 inch balls (I basically rolled the dough ball to match the length from the tip of my thumb to my first knuckle…I think that’s about an inch). Roll the dough balls in the sugar, if using.
Place the dough balls onto a lined or greased cookie sheet, about a 2 inches apart. With a back of a fork, if using, press into the cookie so that it’s imprinted.
Bake the cookies for about 15 minutes (this is how long it took in my oven) to 18 minutes, until they’re very slightly browned and firm the to touch. These cookies will not brown much so be careful not to leave them in the oven for too long.
Let the cookies cool before eating, but honestly, I’ve eaten them warm and they were delicious.
My mother is a post-partum nurse. When I was a kid, having a mom as a nurse was pretty nice in that she always took care of my “boo boos” and I grew accustomed to a never-ending supply of pharmacy-type items (bandaids, alcohol wipes, ibuprofen, etc) in our hallway closet. My mother always shopped in fear that if there was ever a pain or ache she would not have the remedy for it.
There are hazards that come with her job though. Hazards for a now thirty year old me.
My mother basically works with mothers and their babies. All the time. It’s not just a little reminder that she doesn’t have grandchildren yet, but a giant, hey, let’s rub it in your face for an eight hour shift Monday through Friday, and then maybe sometimes on weekends.
At first I didn’t put any weight in the way my mom commented about how cute other people’s infants were at random places like the mall, because she has always loved babies. It was when I was approaching my 29th birthday that I realized she was actually starting to panic that she may never have grandchildren.
“Maybe you should get your eggs frozen.”
“WHAT?! Ma I’m 28!”
“You’re turning 29 next month.”
“And what, next comes 30 and then I’m barren?”
“Well, maybe you should get your eggs frozen.”
I didn’t get my eggs frozen.
Soon after our conversation I started receiving random gifts from my mother that my friends were convinced were symbols for my “barren uterus.”
Both, my friends said (in case you can’t connect the dots), seemed all too similar to the shape of a uterus.
I still haven’t frozen my eggs.
However, I did call my mother recently to catch up, and knowing that if we talked about food, it would be a good distraction to the whole “grandbaby debacle.”
I was happy that we were able to talk about dishes she used to make when I was younger. Recipes that reminded me of home, when I lived there, wasn’t thirty and didn’t have the pressures of having a basketball sized belly from my mother (and Facebook).
While I can never promise my mother grandchildren, I can pay her a little honor by remaking her lemon and ginger soba noodles with pan fried spicy tofu. While she didn’t give me specific measurements (my mother and Rachael Ray are kindred spirits, they never measure a thing while they cook), I used what she told me she threw in, and just added and tasted until it was “just right.” I encourage you to do the same, as my love for bright lemon and spicy ginger may not be the same as your taste.
I realize that the soba noodles are served cold, but the lovely acid tones of the dish go so well with the spicy tofu on such a dreary, November day. Even Roo, who has been adamant about hating tofu, slurped up the noodles with the red pepper flake and sesame oil infused fried bean curd. I hope that you will give it a chance as well.
Recipe is from Mom
Serves 2 to 3
Ingredients
For the Noodles
Quarter cup of mild tasting olive oil, or a canola or vegetable oil will do
1 teaspoon sesame oil
1 teaspoon of mirin
2 teaspoons of sugar
Half teaspoon of fine sea salt
3 tablespoons of rice wine vinegar
Zest of one lemon
1 tablespoon freshly grated ginger (I used the my coarse microplane grater)
One bundle of dried soba noodles, when held together, about the diameter of a quarter
A large pinch of salt (for cooking the soba noodles)
For the tofu
2 teaspoons of sesame oil
2 tablespoons of soy sauce
1 teaspoons of red pepper flake
1 teaspoons of sugar
One green onion, diced
One fourteen ounce (if you have a larger size container, that’s also ok, it’ll work!) container of tofu
1 tablespoon of mild tasting olive oil, or a canola or vegetable oil will do (for frying the tofu)
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Equipment
A large pot
Two small sized mixing bowls
A whisk
A set of tongs or chopsticks (I love cooking with chopsticks)…a fork will also suffice
A large saute pan
A colander
A plate lined with one or two paper towels
A plate to serve with
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Fill your large pot three quarters of the way with water. Place over a burner on high heat. Make the sauce for the soba while you wait for the water to boil.
In a small sized mixing bowl, add the olive oil, sesame oil, mirin, sugar, fine sea salt, rice wine vinegar, lemon zest and grated ginger. Whisk the ingredients together till well combined. Taste. I like this sauce full of punch from the lemon and ginger. Too tart? Add more sugar. Too acidic? Add a bit more olive oil. Make this sauce yours. Set aside.
In another small sized mixing bowl add the sesame oil, soy sauce, red pepper flake, sugar and green onion. Whisk the ingredients till well combined. Set aside.
By now hopefully the water has come to a boil. Add the soba noodles and cook. When done (I like them to have the same consistency as pasta), drain and rinse the noodles in cold water until the noodles are cold. Drain again and set aside.
Pour the olive oil into a large saute pan and place on a burner over medium heat. While the oil is warming, remove the tofu from its container and rinse under cold water. Pat the tofu dry with paper towels. Cut the tofu into about quarter inch pieces. For instance, cut the tofu in half, down the long ways. Then, cut one of the halves again in half, down the short way. Then cut that half into four pieces. Repeat with the other half (and quarter) of tofu. I got 16 slices. If you get more or less, it’s ok!
By now the oil should be shimmering. With a new paper towel, pat the individual slices of tofu dry before placing into the pan. Lay out as many pieces of tofu into the pan, without touching. If they touch, they will stick together in the cooking process. (Thankfully I am able to lay out all 16 slices in my mega pan.)
Cook the tofu on low heat for about five minutes, until the side facing the pan gets golden brown.
While the tofu is cooking, take your soba noodles and put them on your serving plate. Pour the half the soba sauce over the noodles. Toss the noodles with your tongs. Taste. Does it need more? Add more sauce. Set aside.
Hopefully by now the tofu is golden brown on the side facing down on the pan. Flip all pieces of tofu over with tongs, a fork, chopsticks, whatever. Cook the tofu for about another five minutes.
When the tofu is golden brown on both sides, plate it and pour the sauce over the tofu.
Roo has lived in our apartment for about ten years. Two years ago, I remember getting buzzed into the building and walking up three flights of winding stairs, before reaching the top floor apartment. Our date was spent sitting on his bed, as his roommate was in the television room and there was no where else for us to go. The bed was by three uninsulated windows, and I remember being so cold, as I felt the November chill find its way through the seams. We talked, sipped whiskey, and listened to a Best of Tom Petty album. It was pretty great.
The apartment at the time housed bachelors that were there to do three things: eat, sleep and poop (Everyone Poops, I hope you’re now over it). Cleaning was not on the top of the list, and while I myself admit to being a slob, these boys made me look like a reality star from Obsessed.
When Roo asked me to move in with him last year, there was no denying it, I knew what I was getting into…
The kitchen housed a broken toilet (literally, in the middle of the floor) and five cinderblocks.
There wasn’t a refrigerator.
The bathroom did not have properly functioning toilet. You had to stick your hand in the cold tank to pull on the chain to make it flush. I hated this.
Said toilet completely broke before I moved in, and then the kitchen housed two broken toilets.
I once tried to be “helpful” by picking up a large dustball off the floor, but it turned out to be a mouse the cats had killed god-only-knows-when.
There wasn’t hand soap in the entire apartment at the time. Anywhere.
I ended up cleaning my hands with shampoo, wailing (wailing helps with decontamination) over a sink that is “old fashioned” with separate “hot” and “cold” spouts. Going from “burn” to “freeze” also helped with decontaminating. Sure.
Roo was incredibly sweet when he asked me to live with him last July, as he immediately followed his question with, “but I’ll make sure that this place is nice by September. Everyone’s moved out now so I can make this place so much better. I promise.”
While there were only two rooms that were barely functional in the house (the kitchen and the bathroom), Roo only had enough money to re-vamp one. I asked for a working toilet, but as for how the bathroom looked itself, that wasn’t really a deal breaker for me. What did make me hesitant was the state of the kitchen. And Roo didn’t let me down.
Roo repainted the walls, bought us a new refrigerator, removed the items that were being stored there (ie two toilets and five cinder blocks), and basically made it beautiful place to make my meals. He moved an old oak table he had in storage to one side of the kitchen, so we could eat there. Even the floors were steam-cleaned, and right before I started unpacking my pans, he pulled out some shelving from the guest bedroom to store my cookbooks.
As the anniversary of our first date approaches, I can’t help but think of the first thing I made Roo and brought over to his apartment. It was towards the end of November, practically right on top of Thanksgiving. I was in an obsessive phase with pumpkin (but who isn’t this time of year?), so I baked him a loaf of pumpkin bread.
This year, I wanted to make something that brought together the flavors from my favorite family holiday (Thanksgiving) and Roo’s (Christmas), but had no idea how to do it. When I stumbled upon Elise’s recipe for Pumpkin Gingerbread, it was the inspiration I was looking for. Rich molasses swirled into a smooth pumpkin puree, bold flavors such as ginger and cinnamon shining through, made a cake that I was incredibly eager to share. I’ve already packed a bunch of slices for my co-workers for when I see them next.
I think Roo will enjoy this for breakfast this week, especially as with time, the flavors truly meld together and make something I’m sure he won’t mind skipping his daily Starbucks $3 holiday loaf for.
Makes One Loaf (or, if you’d like to reduce the baking time, split the batter into two loaf pans)
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Ingredients
One and a half cups of white whole wheat flour
Quarter teaspoon of fine sea salt
One rounded teaspoon of baking soda
2 teaspoons of ground ginger
One and a half teaspoons of ground cinnamon
Quarter teaspoon of ground nutmeg
One and a quarter cups of pumpkin puree
Quarter cup of butter (like Earth Balance), melted
Half cup of turbinado sugar (you can use regular sugar, turbinado was all I had)
Half cup of molasses
1 tablespoon of fresh ginger, grated
2 flax seed eggs (2 tablespoons of ground flax seed and 6 tablespoons of warm water, combined and set aside for about 5 minutes)
3 tablespoons of water
Half cup of raisins (optional)
Extra turbinado sugar for sprinkling (optional)
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Equipment
A large mixing bowl
A medium mixing bowl
A whisk
A spatula
A 9×5 loaf pan
Parchment paper, or butter and flour to grease your pan
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Place your oven rack to the middle position in the oven. Preheat your oven to 350F.
In a medium mixing bowl add the white whole wheat flour, salt, baking soda, ginger, cinnamon and nutmeg. Whisk the ingredients together until they are well combined and there are no longer any lumps.
In the large mixing bowl add the pumpkin puree, melted butter, sugar, molasses, fresh grated ginger, flax seed eggs and water. Mix till the ingredients are combined. Be sure to scrape down the bowl so that all ingredients are incorporated.
Add the dry ingredients to the wet, in increments. Stir the ingredients till combined. Add the raisins, if using, and stir till combined. Again, be sure to scrape down the bowl so that all ingredients are incorporated.
Scoop out the batter into a prepared loaf pan (either lined with parchment paper, or buttered and floured). Bake for one hour ten minutes to an hour and a twenty minutes (this cake is filled to the max with pumpkin, so it’s going to take a while to cook through). At the hour marker, remove the pan and sprinkle a little turbinado sugar on top, if using. At the hour five marker, remove the pan and check to see if it’s done with a cake tester, like a toothpick. If it pulls out clean, it’s done. If not bake for an additional five minutes and keep checking until it’s done.
Remove the pan from the oven and allow it to cool (in the pan) for about ten minutes. Run a knife along the edge of the loaf and remove it from the pan. Allow it to cool till room temperature before serving. If you can wait till overnight to eat it, the flavor of the cake will be so much better. But, we couldn’t, we’re not judging.
Why yes, it is a roll of toilet paper inside a ziploc bag.
But why is it being stored like this?
Because of this.
Well more because of this,
who’s main goal in life, is to do evil and destruction (see that scowl? The planning?), hence the name (Evil Monkey).
Monkey, like the rest of the deranged, has an affinity for the most random.
Aluminum foil? Delicious.
Bottle caps? Nom nom nom.
Full bellies?
Ok, the last I do appreciate.
But as of late toilet paper rolls have been her latest fascination/obsession. And we’ve tried everything to deter it. Hiding it in the back of the bathroom shelving, putting it on the towel rack up high; she conquered them all.
So, the other day when I walked into the bathroom (the bathroom door had been closed, but like a velociraptor, she’s learned how to open doors. PS did that movie scare the crap out of you when you were a kid? Traumatized.) there she was, on the bathroom shelf, batting the toilet paper in between her paws. She then looked up at me, and whacked it into the open toilet bowl. Yes, she knocked it into the toilet on purpose. (Roo just nodded along as I retold the story to him, my voice raising an octave with every sentence. He almost looked like he was going to pat me on the head. Almost.)
Needless to say, I lost it. I threatened to make her into a jacket as I grabbed another toilet paper roll out of the closet. I told her I was going to bring her back to the shelter because she had outlived her cost in toilet paper rolls (who am I?). But then, I took a deep breath, and came up an (insane) idea. I put it in a ziploc bag.
While Monkey hasn’t figured out yet how to conquer the ziploc bag, it does make for awkward conversation when we have guests over…
F: Hey, can I use your bathroom?
L: Yeah, um…just one thing. The toilet paper is in a ziploc bag.
F: Oh, ok?
L: Um, but what I don’t think you get is that it has to go back in the bag when you’re done. Anditneedstobesealed.
F: (look of questioning our friendship)
Yes, I’ve now become that person.
I’ve been joking with Roo for a while now that we need to get a dog to keep our cats in line. And with Christmas a month away, I’ve been upping the ante.
L: Hey, you know what would make a really great Christmas gift? Besides that super awesome printer you bought last year, that didn’t really show up till after New Year’s because you forgot to hit “submit” on Amazon? Yeah, that was great. But you know what else is great? A dog.
(Yes, suggestion with double-guilt as the gift was late and it was…a printer.)
L: Wouldn’t it be great for every couple in your family to have a dog? And then we’d all get together for Christmas, with our dogs, and maybe even take a photo? Those would be some great memories.
(This was just plain old crazy talk, as I can now only imagine how chaotic the scene would be. The “other dogs” in the family are: one overweight dachshund – his only flaw, he’s kind of awesome, a great dane that has the mentality of Lennie from Of Mice and Men, and another dachshund, who once peed in the mouth of Roo’s mom when he jumped up to greet her. True story.)
I realized I had to play dirty. And by dirty I mean I needed to bake a cake. Something that tasted like Christmas but not your typical, “hey it’s almost Christmas, let’s get a dog kind of cake.” Yes, those cakes exist (in my mind…and if you read that in a creepy Faye Dunaway/Joan Crawford’s Mommy Dearest voice, then you are far more awesome than I expected).
Cook This Now turned out to be the answer: Melissa Clark’s new cookbook that instructs the reader in what to make with produce that’s at its peak, in month-to-month chapters. For November, she had a recipe for sticky cranberry gingerbread, and I knew that was the cake.
What Roo could only describe as “like Christmas punching you in the face,” it was gooey, packed with firey ginger, smooth, rich molasses and sweet and tart cranberries, some folded in whole and the rest made into lovely sauce, swirled into the batter. It was an “in your face” kind of cake, but the texture was incredibly comforting, as I think rarely anyone would turn down something so sticky and gooey. It wasn’t like “Oh my god this taffy is preventing me from opening my mouth, gah!!!” kind of sticky, but that “I just sneaked a slice straight out of the oven, and nobody knows” kind of wonderful. But fully cooled. And even better the next day.
While Roo didn’t turn to me, absolutely hypnotized, rambling, “Must. Get. Dog,” I can say that the cake may have made him nod his head a little bit more when I again, suggested getting another family member. I guess we’ll have to see what Christmas brings.
2 – 3 cups fresh or frozen cranberries (2 if you want just the cranberry sauce swirled in, 3 if you’d like extra, whole cranberries folded into the batter)
1 cup granulated sugar
1 tablespoon of water
Half cup butter, like Earth Balance (I know it’s a bit of butter, but I significantly reduced the amount of sugar, so yay! Compromise!)
Half cup unsweetened unflavored almond milk (or any other non-dairy milk)
(an overflowing) Half cup of molasses
(an overflowing) Quarter cup of brown rice syrup (I think I have a poor hand to pour with, because in both cases my liquid syrups flowed over the measuring cups. Whoops.)
One and a half cups of white whole wheat flour
1 tablespoon of ground ginger
Half teaspoon of ground cinnamon
Half teaspoon of baking powder
Quarter teaspoon of baking soda
Quarter teaspoon of fine sea salt
Quarter teaspoon of ground pepper
2 flax seed eggs (2 tablespoons of ground flax seed and 6 tablespoons of warm water, mixed and set aside for about ten minutes)
1 tablespoon freshly grated gingerroot (this makes the cake incredibly firey, which we absolutely loved the next day)
2 – 3 tablespoons of turbinado sugar to sprinkle over the top, five minutes prior to taking out of the oven, for a lovely crunch (optional)
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Equipment
2 small sauce pans (can hold about 5 cups)
a medium sized mixing bowl
a large sized mixing bowl
a whisk
a spatula
a hand grater (for the freshly grated gingerroot)
a (square) nine inch cake pan (if you don’t have a square one, that’s ok)
a knife
a large spoon
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Place the oven rack in the middle position in your oven. Preheat your oven to 350F.
Make your flax seed eggs and set aside.
In one of the small sauce pans, add 2 cups of the cranberries, granulated sugar and 1 tablespoon of water. Place the pan over a burner on medium heat. Stir the cranberry mixture occasionally until the sugar is completely dissolved and a syrupy bubbling sauce forms. Some of the cranberries will retain their structure, while others will burst and ooze into the sauce (yum). This will take about ten minutes. Remove the pan from heat and set aside.
In your second sauce pan, add the butter (like Earth Balance), non-dairy milk, molasses and brown rice syrup. Place the pan over medium heat and stir occasionally, until the ingredients just start to simmer. Remove the pan from heat and set aside.
In a medium sized mixing bowl, add the white whole wheat flour, ginger, cinnamon, baking powder, baking soda, salt and pepper. Whisk the ingredients until they are well combined and there are visually no more lumps.
In a large sized mixing bowl, add the butter and molasses mixture. Add the dry ingredients to the large sized mixing bowl, stirring the ingredients till combined. Be sure to scrape down the sides of the bowl as it’s quite a sticky batter. Add the flax seed eggs, stir till combined. Add the freshly ground ginger, stir till combined. Add the 1 extra cup of cranberries (if using), and fold them into the batter.
Scoop out the batter into your cake pan. With a large spoon, add the cranberry sauce to the top of the batter. You can just dollop the sauce out on top. Then, with a knife, swirl through the batter as if you’re making a marbled cake.
Bake the cake for about 45 – 55 minutes, depending on how hot your oven runs. At the 35 minute mark, take the cake out of the oven, and sprinkle the top with turbinado sugar, if using. At the 40 minute mark, take a cake tester (like a toothpick) and insert it into the center of the cake. If it comes out clean, then it’s done. If not, put it back in the oven and keep checking it every five minutes.
When the cake is done, cool till room temperature before serving.
*Roo and I thought that this cake was far far better the next day. The ginger and cranberries were really able to meld together overnight, and what resulted, can be best described by Roo as, “like Christmas punching you in the face.” If you can wait overnight to eat this cake, I highly recommend it. Lastly, it sets up really nicely overnight as well. When you eat it out of the oven it’s gooey and all, but falls apart a bit. Next day = so. much. better.
There’s this bag that’s been staring at me for the past two weeks.
Oh no, dear reader, it’s not a bag full of Godiva.
It’s a bag full of apples. Apples that my parents picked and then unloaded on me, happy to give me the burden of trying to not waste these little gems.
What, you think they’re ugly?
Well, you’re right. While the farmer insisted that they’re fine to eat, I just didn’t want to put my mouth on something that looks like….well, you know.
And I hate peeling apples, especially for every. single. one. that I want to eat as a snack. No. No no no no. Snacks should be easily consumed, no peeling involved. Lazy snacking for me, please.
So, instead, I decided to get rid of them all. I peeled them in one go and threw them into a cake.
And really, what’s better in late October than freshly baked apple cake? Oh, that’s right, upside down apple cake, because I wanted all my apples used. I mean, I wanted apples in every nook and cranny of this cake. Sure.
Half an hour into baking, the apartment became enveloped with, what a Yankee Candle Shop should smell like: cinnamon, ginger, nutmeg and cardamom. (Seriously, what is up with that store and their scent-terrorism? Do I really want my eyes to water as I walk by?) It was like tempting a hungry bear, as every few minutes, Roo and I circled in and out of the kitchen, eagerly waiting for the cake to be done.
About an hour after being put into the oven, the cake tester finally came out clean. Throwing open the door, and snatching up the cake like I was stealing a baby, I immediately took it outside onto the porch for a “fast cool.” And by “fast cool,” I mean I waited a mere minute, and tried to sneak a bite, burning the roof of my mouth in the process. The second however (thirty minutes later), left me floored. The mix of spices, added such lovely warmth to the cake, with cinnamon as the main star. The caramelized turbinado sugar was rich, gooey, and practically bathed the apples that circled the top. And the cake itself was extremely moist, jam packed with even more apples. If anything, one will be left satisfied with the smallest of slices. The cake is incredibly rich and perfect with a cup of strongly brewed coffee.
Quarter cup of turbinado sugar (you could also use brown sugar)
Half teaspoon of cinnamon
1 tablespoon of butter (like Earth Balance), melted
4 apples, peeled, cored and cut into thick slices (slice the apple in half, then cut the halves into half)
For the apples inside the cake
4 apples, peeled, cored and chopped into easily edible pieces
Half teaspoon cinnamon
Quarter cup of sugar
For the cake
Two and three quarter cups of white whole wheat flour
Half teaspoon of ground cinnamon
Half teaspoon of ground ginger
Half teaspoon of ground nutmeg
Quarter teaspoon of ground cardamom (optional)
1 tablespoon baking powder
Quarter teaspoon fine sea salt
1 cup mild tasting olive oil
One and a half cups of sugar
Quarter cup of orange juice
Three teaspoons of vanilla
4 flax seed eggs (4 tablespoons of ground flax seed, 12 tablespoons of hot water, mixed, and set aside for about 10 minutes)
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Equipment
Three medium sized mixing bowls (you can use your apple mixing bowl, twice, as all that goes in it are apples, cinnamon in sugar, well, twice)
A spatula
A whisk
A sharp knife
A nine inch cake pan
Parchment paper (if you’re lazy and don’t want to clean out caramelized sugar out from your cake pan)
Another knife (to loosen your cake from the cake pan)
A plate as large as your cake pan, to invert the cake on
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Place your oven rack to the medium position in the oven and preheat it to 350F.
If using, line your cake pan with parchment paper.
In your first mixing bowl, add the 4 sliced apples, turbinado sugar and cinnamon. Toss together. Pour the ingredients from this bowl (including excess sugar) into your cake pan. Evenly disperse the apples and sugar in the pan. Set aside.
In the same mixing bowl, add the 4 chopped apples, sugar, and cinnamon. Toss together and set aside (in the bowl).
In the second mixing bowl, add the while whole wheat flour, cinnamon, nutmeg, ginger, (cardamom if using) baking powder and salt. Whisk together until the ingredients are combined. Set aside.
In the third mixing bowl, add the oil, orange juice, vanilla extract and sugar. Mix till combined. (I know, don’t freak out, the flax eggs get added a little later.)
Add the dry ingredients to the wet ingredients, in increments. Stir till just combined. Add the flax seed egg, folding and incorporating, till combined. Be sure to scrape down the bowl to make sure everything is mixed together.
The batter is going to be super thick. You’re going to doubt yourself, but trust it.
Scoop half of the batter into your cake pan. Spread the chopped apples on top of the batter. Scoop the rest of the batter over the apples.
Bake for about an hour. At the 45 minute mark, use your cake tester (like a toothpick) and check to see if it’s done (my oven runs incredibly hot and has a part-time hobby of drying out cakes). If not, keep checking it every five minutes until it’s done.
Cool until you can handle the cake pan with bare hands, but the cake is still warm. Run a knife around the edge of the cake to loosen it a bit from the pan/parchment paper. Place a large plate on top of your cake (but it’s actually the cake’s bottom). Invert the cake onto the plate, remove the parchment paper (if used), and allow to cool to room temperature for serving. Or, burn the roof of your mouth like I did, from sheer impatience.
With there being 31 days in October, today marks the halfway point for LLN in VeganMoFo!
I’m happy to say that I haven’t been very tempted this month to stray from the plant based diet that Roo and I decided to do. However, it never felt like we were really alone in this, as The VeganMoFo community is incredibly informative and supportive. There are so many people who are eating plant based meals for the same reasons Roo and I are. Also, I came to learn that the authors of some of the most popular vegan blogs, are actually more accessible than others (omnivore) that I have read. @Mama_Pea and @IsaChandra of Peas and Thank You and Post Punk Kitchen, have always replied back to my questions on Twitter, and get this, were nice about it. While I’ve received replies back from authors of other types of blogs, the majority, have been from the vegans, who responded, every time.
I can honestly say that I can only hope my blog can become even half as popular as theirs. But it should be noted that their work ethic of always getting back to the people who visit their blogs, is something to be admired, blog stats aside.
On that note, this morning I saw that @IsaChandra tweeted her Apple Pie Pancake recipe. I had just rolled out of bed, fed the cats (because they wouldn’t let me get onto my laptop without a proper “exchange”)
and in a pre-coffee haze, started to scroll through my emails and twitter account.
“Apple pie for breakfast?” I asked Roo.
“When have I not wanted pie for breakfast?” he replied.
It was true, how could I not make it.
Unfortunately when I went through my cupboards I realized that I didn’t have everything. Not to be one to endanger the shoppers of Market Basket with my pre-coffee state, I hoped that I could get away with adapting the recipe a bit. While I was nervous, as pancakes, in my opinion, are a hybrid of baking and cooking, with baking being oh-so-finicky in adjustments, and cooking, the forgiving, almost begging to be done on the fly, I figured if that they didn’t work out, Roo could defrost the sweet potato spice cake I had squirreled away in the freezer.
People, let this be the reason to do your breakfast making pre-coffee. It worked. And it was awesome.
The apple topping wasn’t oh-so-sweet that you felt like you needed an insulin shot after (which I has been a common complaint from my friends who still worship the Ihop every weekend…why???). There were even hints of citrus, as the apples were able to cook down into the apple juice, simmering, stewing, creating an incredibly lush, soft, warm, reduction-like topping.
The pancakes were slightly nutty from the ground flax seed, and full of spice, as I piled on the cinnamon, nutmeg and spice into the flour-mix. I also loved that in Isa’s original recipe, she mixes the apple cider vinegar into the almond milk, which creates a pseudo-buttermilk, if you will. This added to the lightness of the pancake, which I just loved.
If you’re looking for a great breakfast to properly introduce you to fall, this is it. Grab your apples and start peeling!
2 apples, peeled and diced into easily edible pieces
Half teaspoon ground cinnamon
Half cup of apple juice
Half tablespoon of cornstarch
For the pancakes
Half cup unsweetened almond milk (or other unsweetened non dairy milk)
1 teaspoon of apple cider vinegar
1 tablespoon of ground flax seeds
Three quarters of a cup of white whole wheat flour (or all purpose flour if that’s what you have)
1 teaspoon of baking powder
1 teaspoon of ground cinnamon
Half teaspoon of ground ginger
One eighth of a teaspoon of ground nutmeg
Quarter teaspoon of fine sea salt (I use Diamond)
1 tablespoon of mild tasting olive oil
One third of a cup of apple juice
1 teaspoon of vanilla extract
1 tablespoon of maple syrup
Grease for your pancake pan (I like 1 tablespoon of olive with 1 teaspoon of butter, like Earth Balance, melted and then swished around to coat the pan)
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Equipment
One medium mixing bowl
A 1 to 2 cup measuring cup (Like a pyrex with a spout that can sit on the counter and hang out)
A whisk
A spatula
A Quarter cup measuring cup, cleaned and saved for batter pouring
A sharp knife
A medium pot (about 3 quarts)
A large saute pan
A cookie sheet, warmed in a 250F oven to keep your pancakes warm
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Place a cookie sheet onto an oven rack, in the middle position of the oven. Preheat the oven to 250F, to keep your pancakes warm.
Now start with your topping, as while it cooks, you can prep the pancakes.
In a medium pot, add the apples, cinnamon, apple juice,and cornstarch. Mix till combined with a spatula. Place on a burned over medium heat. Bring the ingredients to a boil, then lower the heat down to a simmer and cook for about 20 more minutes. Basically by the time you’re done with the pancakes, the apples should also be fork tender. Remove from heat and serve generously over pancakes.
While your apples cook down, pour the almond milk, apple cider vinegar and ground flax seeds into your measuring cup. Stir ingredients together till combined. Set aside.
In a medium mixing bowl, add the flour, baking powder, ground cinnamon and nutmeg, and salt. Whisk the ingredients together till combined. Scoop out a little well in the center of the dry ingredients, and add the milk mixture, olive oil, apple juice, vanilla extract and maple syrup. Stir till just combined (a couple lumps are ok). It’s going to look like a mess at first, but it’ll come together. Set aside.
Add your preferred grease to your pancake pan (some people are devout to oil, some think if you don’t use butter (like Earth Balance), you’re insane, and some, like me, use both, because they love both). Place the pan on a burner over medium. When the grease starts to shimmer, use your quarter cup measuring cup to scoop out the batter, and pour it into the pan. My pan can fit 3 pancakes at a time, so this is what I work with.
When the pancake starts to bubble (and you can peek to see how brown the side faced down in the grease is with a spatula, I won’t tell anyone) and the sides start to set, flip your pancake. This takes about 2 to 3 minutes. Cook the second side for about 2 to 3 minutes more, depending on how crazy-hot (yes, I said it) your burner is. I always peek at the side face down on the pan, so I can control how brown the pancakes get. There is no shame in this. Seriously. When the pancakes are done, set aside on your cookie sheet in the oven, to keep warm.
Repeat the above process until you run out of batter.
